Ding No More

Last year, I wrote an article about notifications on our devices and the way they impact our lives. In that piece, I made some pretty bold statements. I pointed out that most of the digital notifications we receive on a daily basis are completely worthless and that as a whole, they’re hurting us more than they’re helping us. I went so far as to claim that if I never received another notification again, I would be better off for it. And I made a call for each of us to rethink our approach to these intrusions and to make meaningful changes to solve the problems they create. There’s no way I could just leave statements like that hanging, so here I am now for some follow-up.

This piece won’t be as grand and theoretical as its predecessor, though. This time around, I’m here to speak from personal experience. It took some time for me to internalize, process, and apply all of the information that led me to write about this topic last year. But now that I have, I’d like to share my story with you, if you’ll allow me.

The bottom line is this: My devices don’t ding anymore. Or buzz. Or chirp. Or any of that other nonsense. I’ve eliminated 99% of the notifications from my life, and just as I predicted, it’s been wonderful.

You might be thinking, “He’s exaggerating. There’s no way he actually turned off all of his notifications.” But I’m not, and I did. I literally turned off notifications for every major source in my life. Texts. Emails. DMs. Likes. Comments. Snaps. Retweets. Replies. All of them, gone. They don’t make noise anymore. They don’t show up on my home screen anymore. And they aren’t in my notification center anymore. No. more. notifications.

Does that sound extreme to you? Because it did to me, at least at first. When I decided to turn off all of my notifications, it gave me a great deal of anxiety. I was afraid that I might miss out on something important. Or that someone might get mad at me for not responding to them quickly enough. Or that I might find myself constantly wondering if I have a new message and fighting the urge to check. These were very real fears.

So I decided to make it an experiment. I told myself I’d try it out just for a week of family vacation, and then I‘d probably go back to “normal” once the trip was over. But a funny thing happened: None of my fears came to fruition, and I found that I enjoyed my family time (and life in general) significantly more without the constant interruptions coming from my devices. So when I got home, I just kept the experiment going. And now here I am a month later, still living notification-free.

So maybe it’s not so outrageous to consider a life without notifications after all. But still, that doesn’t make it feasible. The end result sounds nice, but the real question is, “How?” How does one move from a never-ending stream of dings, pings, and buzzes to silence? That was the question I had to answer myself. It’s taken some tweaking, but I think I’ve found the right way to do it, at least for me.

A quick note before we dive in: I tend to work almost exclusively using Apple products, so the description of my process might use some Apple lingo. But based on my understanding of other platforms, I think this approach could translate to most anything. If you have any questions about the technical aspects of implementing my method on your specific device, I’d be happy to help you out. Just get into contact with me.

To start off, I had to think about where the majority of my notifications were coming from. Which applications were the most intrusive? For me, it was the basics: Messages, Mail, and social media. This handful of applications was dominating my time. I had tried in the past to keep these apps at bay by putting my phone on Do Not Disturb mode, but that wasn’t enough. The notifications still showed up on my lock screen, and there were always those annoying red bubbles on the home screen letting me know how many texts and tweets I was missing out on.

It felt like my phone was using me rather than the other way around. The apps that were supposed to be working for me and making my life better were actually bossing me around and telling me how to spend my time. I couldn’t resist the urge to tap on the notifications, even if it was just to get them to go away.

So I did something that seemed drastic, but was actually necessary: I went into my notification settings and completely took away notification access for my messaging, email, and social media apps. I didn’t just take away their ability to make sounds and buzzes, but their ability to push any sort of notification at all, including banners and those awful red bubbles on my home screen. Now, I could have a dozen unread texts or zero, and I have no way of knowing the difference until I actually open the app.

Here’s why I turned off these apps’ notifications altogether: I check them multiple times a day anyway, often multiple times an hour. There’s no possible way I’m going to miss something important because I’m always on those apps by choice. But that’s the key: It’s my choice. I want to choose when I check my text messages and emails. I want to choose when I check Twitter and Instagram. I want to choose when I check how many likes I’ve received on my latest Facebook post. I don’t want those apps telling me when to pay attention to them. So I just don’t give them the opportunity to.

Now, I can open the Messages app every five minutes or every five hours and still feel the same way. I don’t have the anxiety that comes with a clogged-up notification center and a red bubble on my home screen. When I have free time, I check my texts often. When I’m busy, I let them pile up until I’ve got a spare moment. Not only has this made it easier to enjoy my life day-to-day, but I also actually like reading my text messages now. They’re like nice, little unexpected surprises that I can open whenever I want to. Same with emails and social media interactions: Making them less intrusive also makes them more fun.

For all of my other apps, I use the Do Not Disturb feature. Each of my devices has one, and I leave it on 100% of the time. This way, I don’t miss out on important information from apps I don’t use constantly (such as my banking app), but they still don’t have the ability to interrupt my life. Sometimes, I’ll go a full day without a single notification showing up. But even when they do come along, they’re a lot easier to manage now, and I know that they’re worth my time.

I’ve also created a new rule: If one of these apps gives me one useless notification, or even too many notifications that are only marginally important, I immediately open up my settings app and revoke its notification privileges. I’m constantly monitoring which notifications I’m allowing into my life and evaluating whether or not they’re worthwhile. If they aren’t, I make a small change that has a lasting impact on my mental well-being. Basically, if a notification isn’t worth tapping on, then it isn’t worth existing at all.

The key, I think, is keeping in mind that notifying us about information is a privilege that we give to these apps. It isn’t a right. You may not remember doing this, but when you set up these apps on your phone, they had to ask your permission to start notifying you. Most of us simply grant these permissions without giving it a second thought, but it’s actually quite freeing to realize that you can say no. Not every app deserves that privilege, and we have the power to grant and revoke that privilege as we see fit.

On a related note, I’ve been removing digital clutter from my life in other ways, too. You know those pesky email newsletters you’re always getting but never read? Most of them have an unsubscribe button at the bottom, and I’ve been pushing it. A lot. I also created smart folders to automatically catch certain emails that I want to keep but don’t necessarily need to see every time they come in, such as daily confirmations of payments I make on my credit card. Those messages get filed away for safekeeping without taking up a second of my time or attention.

And I’ve been cleaning up my social media feeds, too. Mind you, I haven’t unfriended anyone. But most social networks now have an option to mute accounts that you don’t want to disconnect with completely but don’t need to see on a daily basis either. That person I met one time at a conference is great, but have no desire to see a picture of their daily coffee order. With just a couple of clicks, I’ve parred down my social feeds to the information that really matters, posts from the people I care about the most. Again, this saves me mental energy and makes interacting with these services a lot more meaningful. Are you catching the trend here?

Of course, such a big change doesn’t come without its complications. The biggest one is ensuring that I am available in case of emergency. And that’s where my one exception to the, “My phone never dings,” rule comes in. In my Do Not Disturb settings, I told my phone to mute everything except phone calls from people in my contacts. That way, if a family member, friend, or colleague absolutely needs to contact me immediately, they can. But only if they call, and only if they’re someone I know. (Sorry, robocallers; you’re going to voicemail.)

In urgent situations, people tend to call instead of text anyway, but I have had to do a bit of expectation management as well. Unfortunately, our cultural technology addiction has led to a false belief that text messages should be read and responded to immediately. I’ve had to tell a couple of people—and I probably should tell everyone—that if they need to contact me in a timely fashion, they have to call me. Because I’m not consistent about checking my texts, and that’s the way it should be.

Another complication is that the devices themselves don’t give me as much choice as I need to create a truly perfect solution. For example, I actually do want text messages from my fiancé to interrupt my life. But there’s no way to make an exception for her in Apple’s Do Not Disturb settings, so she gets caught in the filter, too. It would also be nice to turn on notifications from coworkers during business hours and then have them muted when I’m on my own time. And there are certain instances when we want our devices to be interruptive (such as when we set calendar reminders or play games like Trivia HQ), and I wish there were a way to only allow notifications in these few cases.

These sorts of customizations are certainly technically possible, but it’s on the device makers to give that power to consumers. Thus far, I haven’t seen it. But tech companies are starting to acknowledge the impact of technology addiction and notification overload, and they’re working on tools to empower users to take control of their devices. So hopefully we’ll see these sorts of options added very soon.

And finally, if you do decide you want to go this route, be prepared for your apps to get mad at you. The people who develop software for our devices benefit greatly from having the ability to interrupt our lives whenever they like, and they aren’t happy when that privilege is taken away. Every time I open the Facebook Messenger app now, I get a little message reprimanding me for not allowing the app to send me notifications. My old email client, Spark, disabled certain features because I wouldn’t approve its notifications requests. And so on.

The whole system is built on the assumption that we give our devices unencumbered access to our lives, so when we take that access away, it pushes back. But that’s alright. The system works just fine without all of the notifications. In fact, it actually works better for me. If developers want the deep, persistent access to my life that they’re used to getting, they’re going to have to give me a really good reason to turn those notifications back on. I’m not sure that there’s any value an app could add to my life that would be worth more than the relief and sense of centeredness I now feel.

It’s nearly impossible, I know, but try to picture it: life without notifications. You could carry on a conversation with your partner, look into each other’s eyes, and not have to stop every time someone sends one of you a text. You could share a meal with your friends and laugh together knowing that each of you is fully present. You could have fun with your family and create memories with one another that no one would miss out on due to digital distraction. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? And the good news is that it’s possible.

I’ve shared with you my approach, and I’ve done so because it’s worked really well for me. I think it could work for you, too. It’s scary at first, I know. We’ve been taught that we need notifications, but I’m living proof that we don’t. If a techie like me can learn to live without them and actually like it, I think it’s worth a shot for you, too.

I do understand that this approach isn’t for everyone. I don’t claim to have it all figured out. Maybe you’re in a situation where you need to be more instantly accessible for loved ones or for work. Maybe you use your devices for accessibility, and you need notifications. Or maybe you love playing time-based games and find that they enrich your life. I’d love to hear your perspective on this topic, too.

But regardless of whether my method is the right one for you, I would encourage you to seriously consider the role that you’re allowing your devices and especially notifications to play in your life. Are they disrupting time with your loved ones? Are they causing you stress? Are they taking up too much of your valuable attention and energy? We can all do something to take control of the technology in our lives. We can all find ways to make our devices work for us so that we don’t find ourselves working for them. And if you think the notification-free life might be the solution for you, I hope you’ll give it a try. I did, and I’m never looking back.

The Lifestyle of Following God’s Will

We’ve been talking about following God’s will for a while now, and we’ve covered a lot of different topics. We got the basics down, answered a few common questions, and dug deep into some of the more difficult issues that come up during this process. But after all of this discussion, you may be left wondering, “What’s the point of all of this? What’s the end goal?” Well, that’s our topic for today in the final installment of this series.

We’ve been talking about following God’s will as a process because that’s what it is. It’s a series of steps that starts with recognizing our own in ability to make the right decisions and leads us down a path towards God’s ultimate purpose for us. Like any process, this one changes over time and requires different things from us at different stages.

When we first start the journey of following God’s will, we feel the need to be very intentional and dogmatic. We wake up every morning and say, “God, what are you calling me to do today?” We listen for his answer through the various mediums we’ve discussed previously, and then we go do what he’s telling us to do. And when the big choices arise, we pray and we pray and we pray until we feel God indicating what we should do, and we go do it. This process is great. It’s necessary. It’s exactly what we’re supposed to do at first. That’s why we’ve spent weeks discussing it. But it’s also not the end goal.

Instead, the end goal is to become so in tune with God and his will for our lives that it becomes automatic. Our wills aligns with his will to the point that they’re the same. Our minds have been so shaped and so formed by God that we make godly decisions by default rather than after much deliberation.

Of course, prayer and intentionality will always be necessary because we’re imperfect people. We can’t make all of the right decisions on our own; that’s the premise of this whole endeavor. We’ll always have to rely on God to lead us. But we’re not meant to constantly live in a place of tension between what we want and what God wants. If we’re developing spiritually the way that we’re meant to, it should get easier and more natural to follow God’s will over time as we allow ourselves to become more and more like him.

Following God’s path for our lives should eventually become a lifestyle. At its root, it’s not about what we do; it’s about who we are. And throughout this whole process, God is forming us into the people he wants us to be. Into people after his own heart. Into people who care about and prioritize the things that he cares about and prioritizes. Into people who have internalized his will to a point that it has become our own.

Ultimately, following God’s will isn’t a decision or even a series of decisions. It’s a way of life. It’s an identity. Forming that identity takes time and effort, and holding on to that identity takes even more effort, but if we truly believe that God’s will is the best path for our lives, then forming a lifestyle of following his will intuitively should be our primary goal.

I’m not saying I’ve gotten there 100% myself yet. And I don’t want to put down anyone who’s still going through the process to get to that point. The process is important, and there will always be some element of struggle to it, even after you’ve been committed to this lifestyle for years. But I can tell you from personal experience that doing things God’s way is so, so worth it. Nothing could possibly be better.

Everything I’ve shared with you throughout this series I’ve learned from my own journey. I made a decision long ago that I would do everything within my power to follow God’s will for my life, and it’s made all the difference for me. And I believe it will make all the difference for you, too, if you’re willing to commit to it. It’s not just a decision; it’s an identity. It’s who we’re meant to be. And if you haven’t already, I invite you to start the journey of becoming who God made you to be.

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When You Disagree with God

Following God’s will is a wonderful, rewarding, fulfilling process. It has unlimited benefits. It solves a good deal of our problems for us. It truly is the best way to do life. But sometimes, even in light of all of that, it’s still really, really hard.

Because even after we’ve done everything we’ve talked about in this series, at the end of the day, we’re still human. We’re still imperfect. Our minds and our wills are still affected by the brokenness of the world, which means that there will be times when we find that what we want is in distinct conflict with God’s will. It happens to all of us, and when it does, it’s not fun.

This can happen several different ways. One of the most common ways is regarding doctrine. We have some belief that comes from our upbringing or our culture or our own logic that doesn’t line up with what God reveals about who he is and what he wants through his word. It might even be something that we were taught as a Christian principle that actually goes against the Bible and sound theology! When we truly devote ourselves to studying and trying to understand Christian teaching, we find a lot of shortcomings in our belief system. These stem from the fact that, as we already know, we’re only human.

There are also the day-to-day instances of not wanting to follow God’s will. As we go about our lives, the Holy Spirit is constantly communicating with us, giving us opportunities to show kindness and grace to others. (Some people call this their conscience.) Sometimes these actions require us to get out of our comfort zones or to sacrifice our time and resources in ways we normally wouldn’t. Whether it’s smiling to a stranger on the street, giving a panhandler a dollar, or stopping to have a conversation with someone who’s clearly hurting, God’s will involves a lot of small, daily choices that we wouldn’t make on our own, and sometimes, we push back against them.

But this issue is most apparent and most urgent when it comes to big life decisions like where to live, what career moves to make, and who to surround ourselves with. We like to talk about seeking God’s will on these decisions, but often, we do so without really expecting a response. What we actually want is for God to give his stamp of approval on our idea of how things should go. And sometimes, he does. But other times, God is clearly calling us to follow a plan different from our own. To do something we don’t want to do. Maybe even to do something that seems counterproductive to our plans. What do we do in situations like these?

Fortunately, we have an excellent example of what to do when we find ourselves here. The best example, really. We have Jesus, the perfect human being, the son of God and God himself, as our example to follow when we disagree with God. As Jesus was preparing to be arrested, sentenced to death, and crucified, he prayed this simple prayer: “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done” (Luke 22.42).

Like us, Jesus was a human being. He had a human will, and in at least this case, his human will was in conflict with God’s divine will for his life. He didn’t want to suffer and die the way he did. Would you? He dreaded it. I’m sure the idea of it made him sick. He was nervous, anxious, maybe even scared of the physical and mental torture that lay ahead of him. But he knew that for some reason, it was a part of God’s plan.

And so, he did it. He chose to put his own feelings aside and put God’s will first. He chose to endure the pain, the suffering, and the embarrassment for the sake of bringing his heavenly father’s purposes to fruition. And because he did, the world was changed forever. I’m so thankful that Jesus was obedient.

So where does that leave us? I think there are a few important things that we can learn from Jesus’ example. First of all, we don’t have to feel bad for having desires that differ from God’s. Because it happens to everyone. It even happened to Jesus. Feelings of guilt and shame for disagreeing with God might be natural, but if we dwell on them, they can hold us back from living out his plan for our lives, so it’s best that we check them at the door. It’s not wrong to disagree with God.

But it is wrong to disobey God. The second thing we learn from Jesus’ example is that in these moments, obedience is always the best path forward. God would never ask us to do something if he didn’t have a good reason for it. While we’re focused on the here and now, he sees the big picture, and he knows what is best for us and for the world. And that’s why we have to make the commitment now that when we do find our desires in conflict with God’s, we’ll choose to follow his will every time.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about what we want. And that’s the final lesson Jesus teaches us with his prayer. He didn’t just choose to obey. He didn’t begrudgingly follow God’s path, complaining and looking for a way out the entire time. Instead, he chose to want what God wanted. We’re going to dive more deeply into this next week, but that’s the ultimate goal of following God’s will: to fully align our deepest desires with his.

There’s nothing wrong with disagreeing with God. It’s an inevitable part of life. It’s even acceptable (and maybe even healthy) to express that disagreement to him. But at the end of the day, we’re called to follow God’s will no matter what because it is always what’s best for us. So when we disagree with God, we recognize how we feel, and then we do what he says anyway. Because he knows what’s best for us, and he’s leading us somewhere wonderful. More on that next week when we finish up this series on following God’s will. I’ll see you then!

When God’s Will Requires Other People

Thus far, we’ve talked about God’s will as a solo endeavor, following God’s will for your own life. And this is really important, but it’s not all there is to it. Because God doesn’t just have a plan for individuals; he has a plan for groups as well. He has a plan for couples. He has a plan for families. He has a plan for churches and clubs and friend groups and all kinds of other units made up of more than one person. Following his will as a unit is important, too. And it comes with its own set of complications.

Let’s face it: Dealing with other people isn’t always easy. We have trouble just getting along sometimes, let alone working together to follow a divine plan that we never fully understand. It’s one thing to give up control to God, but in many cases, we have to trust other people with some control, too. And that’s scary. How are we supposed to work with other people to accomplish the goals that God has for us? It’s not always easy, but it’s certainly possible.

Much of what we’ve already learned about following God’s will as individuals still applies in groups, and it forms a solid foundation for us to start on. The most important thing is that the group be concerned with and committed to following God’s will in the first place. He blesses those who earnestly seek him, so simply making it the group’s goal to follow God’s will is a huge step towards living it out.

A nice thing about groups is that they don’t have to rely too heavily on any one person’s intellect. When we’re trying to follow God’s will on our own, we can feel overwhelmed and even lost because of our lack of information. But in a group, we have others to rely on to help fill in the gaps and clarify what it is that God is saying to us. This is why discernment in a group setting is so important. God can use the expertise, passions, and experiences of multiple people to come together to create something that none of the individuals involved could have done on their own.

And it does sort of take the pressure off, doesn’t it? Making decisions as a group puts a lot less responsibility on any one person. We can rest easy knowing that no matter what decision was made, it was made by multiple people who worked together to come up with what they believe to be the best solution. It’s not all on us. We bear the responsibility, consequences, and rewards together. We aren’t alone, and even though that makes things a little messier, it also makes them a little lighter, too.

Of course, there will be times in any group setting when things don’t go the way we think they should. We feel like God is leading the group in one direction, but everyone else feels a different way. The group may even make a decision that we feel goes against God’s plan. This can be frustrating, even disheartening. What do we do in cases like this?

I think this is where a dynamic understanding of God’s will comes into play. As we learned before, God works with us to bring his intentions into existence. It’s not a one-way path that gets completely destroyed if we take one step out of line. He’s willing to adapt, to collaborate, to accommodate us and our shortcomings even as he moves us towards his ultimate plan for us and for our group.

So what do we do in cases like this? We trust that God is working it all for his greater purpose, even if we don’t understand it. We also acknowledge that we aren’t infallible, that we can make mistakes, that we very well could be wrong in any particular instance. God’s will isn’t always easy to understand, and it’s perfectly possible for two sincere, well-meaning people to come to two very different conclusions about what God’s will is in any given case. And so, we have to trust God and give people the benefit of the doubt, hoping that they’re as sincere in their desire to follow God’s will as we are.

This doesn’t mean we don’t ever try to have a say. God puts us in the groups we’re in for a reason. We each have something to contribute, and if we aren’t, then we’re shortselling ourselves and the groups we’re a part of. When the Holy Spirit convict us, we’re called to move, and often, that means exerting influence in the groups God has placed us in. And as we each seek to follow his will individually as well as in our groups, I believe he’ll bless our efforts.

So that’s my advice: Trust God, believe the best in people, and be diligent to follow God’s will in your personal life. If you’re doing that much, then you can rest easy knowing that he’s going to take care of the rest, and that includes guiding the groups you’re a part of. And with God as your guide, you know you’ll go far. Thanks for reading, friends! I’ll see you next week.

God’s Plans and Ours

We’ve been talking about following God’s will for a little while now, and after reading article after article about giving up control of our lives and letting God call the shots, you might be left thinking that setting any sort of plan or goal in life is a bad thing. I hope that’s not the case. But if it is, I’d like to apologize and take the opportunity to correct that misconception now. Because planning certainly isn’t a bad thing in and of itself.

In fact, planning is good. As we’ve noted before, God gave us our minds for a reason, and we’re meant to use them. The most successful people in life are those who are able to set goals, break those goals down into actionable steps, and then make those steps into reality. Planning is a skill God that gives us to enable us to do great things for him.

But there are a few caveats. As with anything God gives us, we have the ability to use this skill in the wrong way. Our plans can get in the way if we prioritize them over what he wants for us. So how do we make and execute plans without straying from or interfering with God’s will? Here‘s my approach.

Dare to dream.

Our goals and ambitions are often gifts from God, and he gives them to us so that we can pursue them. If you have a dream for your life that you feel is in line with who God made you to be and what the world needs right now, then you should by all means pursue it. Figure out what it will take to make that dream happen, and then start working towards it. You never know, it might just be your calling.

Too often, we spend so much time wondering whether or not a certain goal is God’s will for us that we miss out on the opportunity altogether. This is a shame. We would do better to start something and find that it’s not God’s will than to wait too long and realize that we should have begun long ago.

You know the old saying: It’s better to ask forgiveness than for permission. When we’re earnestly pursuing God’s will, he’s going to understand and forgive us if we accidentally take a wrong turn now and then. Better to try to do good and have to backtrack than to get stuck doing nothing. Sometimes, God uses those seeming failures to help clarify his will for us by eliminating certain options that would otherwise turn into what-ifs.

Don’t assume that just because you have a goal that you need to suppress it. God’s will starts with conviction, and conviction often comes in the form of passions and talents. Don’t be afraid to dream, because God can use those dreams to show you what he has in store for you.

Remember who’s in charge.

At the same time, it’s important to recognize that we aren’t perfect. Our minds are subject to fallenness, and so our plans aren’t always the best for us. We’ve talked about this before, so there’s no need to go too deeply into it. But the basic principle still remains: The only person who should be calling the shots on the direction of our lives is God, and so our plans are always subject to his approval. If we’re simply pursuing our own ambitions without consulting him and following his guidance, we will find ourselves in a bad spot very soon.

So we’re supposed to make plans and try to follow them, all the while recognizing that those plans may not be God’s will and thus might have to be thrown out completely. That sounds hard enough in print. How are we supposed to make that happen in our day-to-day lives? That’s where a couple of really important skills come in.

Practice flexibility and hope.

The first thing you’re going to need to navigate this tension between planning and following God’s will is flexibility. God has this tendency to take all of our expectations and throw them out the window. It’s in his nature; it’s a part of his process of teaching us to trust him. And so we have to hold on to our plans loosely.

We have to be ready to change course as soon he tells us to. If he says, “Move,” when we don’t feel prepared, we still have to move. And if he says, “Wait,” when we think making a move is the best option, we have to be willing to trust him and do what he says, even when our plans say otherwise. (Patience, by the way, is probably the most difficult form of flexibility. Practice it early and often.)

Life with God is a journey. It takes a lot of twists and turns, and the only person with the road map is God. We can’t see the big picture the way he can. So there will be times when he asks us to do things that don’t make a lot of sense, that don’t appear to be in our best interest, that don’t seem to move us towards the goals we’ve set for ourselves. But if we practice flexibility and do what he calls us to even when it messes up our plans, he’s going to bless us and show us a better way than we ever could have imagined.

And that’s where the second skill comes in: hope. Hope basically comes down to believing in the deepest part of your soul that God has the best in mind for us. It’s choosing to have a mindset of trust in the one we’ve decided to follow. He’s our good guide on the path of life, and if we can maintain our faith in him even when the external evidence compels us to lose it, we can find hope in the midst of any life situation, and that hope will sustain us through to the other side of hard times.

And there will be hard times when we choose to follow God’s path. It’s not all happiness and sunshine. It’s a constant struggle to put yourself second and choose to put him and his plans first. There will be moments when you feel stuck and don’t see a way out. Or when you feel impatient because your plan isn’t playing out according to your timeline. Or when you wonder if what you’re doing has any value at all. But it’s in those moments that we need hope the most, and it’s in those moments that God gets an opportunity to show us his ability to use any situation for our good when we’re following him.

One last note on hope: I’ve found that the big breakthroughs in my life have always taken place right after overcoming the temptation to give up hope. It’s happened over and over for me. Whenever I feel a dream, a goal, or a plan slipping away and I choose to trust God and follow his will anyway, that’s when he blesses me with the desires of my heart.

The best example of this that I can think of is my romantic life. It’s so easy to get caught up in the dream of finding the right person and getting married. It can become an obsession, a distraction, and a huge source of anxiety. So a long time ago, I gave that dream over to God and said, “I trust you with this. If it’s a part of your will, great. If not, I’m going to follow you anyway.”

It’s not that I didn’t have a goal and a plan; it’s that I chose to submit them to him and his will. And believe me, there were times when I was tempted to give up hope. When my timeline was completely thrown off, my prospects were nonexistent, and my loneliness threatened to overwhelm me. But I chose to trust that whatever God had in store for me was the best life possible, no matter my marital status. And in the end, he blessed me by leading me to the person I’m meant to be with for life.

As backwards as it may seem, it’s only when we’re willing to trust God with something that he turns around and trusts us with it. It’s only in following his plan for our lives that we have any hope of seeing our own plans through. Because at the end of the day, the best possible plan we could have for our lives is his. And we can live out the perfect plan he has for our lives if we’ll only follow him.

So don’t be afraid to dream and to make plans based on the dreams that God has given you. But in the midst of pursuing those plans, remember to practice flexibility and hope in light of his will. It’s not an easy balance to find, but once you do, you’ll be able to dream and follow God at the same time, and that’s a really wonderful way to do life with him. May it be so for each of us.